Welcome to China

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Stil

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Welcome to China
« on: September 02, 2010, 05:16:44 AM »

I wonder how many newbie teachers were on this flight.


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xwarrior

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Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2010, 01:18:35 PM »
I wonder what they say on a recorded message that annouces you are about to crash into the sea. As it is a British plane I guess it would be something like:

"Ladies and Gentlemen. We are experiencing a few problems with our planes relationship to the approaching sea view. Please fasten your seat belts and adopt a stiff upper lip position.
Our cabin crew will distribute Lifesavers to women and children. Male passengers are invited to join in us in a choral - the words of an abridged version of Abide With Me are to be found by pressing D1 on your touchscreen.
Drinks will now be served to our First Class passengers."

Other countries may have different versions.

 
I have my standards. They may be low, but I have them.
- Bette Midler

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Monkey King

Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2010, 01:22:12 PM »
 aoaoaoaoao

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kitano

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Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2010, 02:14:48 PM »
british airways are a mockery

Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2010, 06:58:13 PM »
I read the article in a HK paper, considering the massacre in Manilla and the crash in Heilongjiang, the timing was not ideal. Not that it's fine at any other time.

I wonder how many people turned to their loved ones and made a last minute confession
 ananananan

"Honey, junior is not your son"   


asasasasas
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Escaped Lunatic

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Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2010, 07:05:31 PM »
Ladies and Gentlemen,

This aircraft is about to crash in a catastrophic fashion.  Your chances for survival are less that one thousandth of one percent.  We are told that the impact will be very painful, but that you won't live long enough to suffer much.  You now have 40 seconds to make peace with the world and any deity you care to call upon.

Thank you for flying British Airways.  It has been a pleasure having you aboard and we look forward to serving you again soon.
I'm pro-cloning and we vote!               Why isn't this card colored green?
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Borkya

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Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2010, 07:51:57 PM »
You now have 40 seconds to make peace with the world and any deity you care to call upon.

If it was an American airline it would say something along the lines of "please turn to the nearest passenger of dark skin, or evil looks and tell them the wonders of Jesus Christ and how they can all live eternally in heaven if they accept Jesus as their personal savior."  ahahahahah

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A-Train

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Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2010, 11:41:12 PM »

"Cabin crew quickly realized the error and moved to reassure the terrified passengers"


Would that be "oops, my bad"?
Or the Emily Litella, "Never mind"?
"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore attempt the impossible and achieve it, generation after generation.

Pearl S. Buck

Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #8 on: September 03, 2010, 02:13:54 AM »
ChinaEastern - We are about to crash into a mountain. 1 of you will die, and 2 of you will suffer slight injuries.

Aerolinas Argentinas - We are about to crash. Therefore the stewards would like to receive their tips now.

RyanAir - We are about to crash. Please purchase your oxygen masks.

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xwarrior

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Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2010, 01:54:50 AM »

Alitalia - The plane is about to crash! Please to not panic - leave that to us. Passengers are asked to remain seated while the crew abandon the aircraft.
I have my standards. They may be low, but I have them.
- Bette Midler

Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #10 on: September 07, 2010, 07:28:25 PM »
ahhh ba:)

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Dex

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Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2010, 05:37:48 AM »
this thread is a tad sick isn't it? I'm still going to add to it though: Air China. I'm sorry but we fear of the to be dropped. Please excuse for not waiting on the vehicle. Fasten the belt for one's seat. But first, enjoy for your pleasure this ten minute film about the successfully Beijing Olympics. Thank you. China welcomes You!
Train + China + Spring Festival = Torture

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Escaped Lunatic

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Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2010, 07:51:26 PM »
Death by Chinglish!   bkbkbkbkbk
I'm pro-cloning and we vote!               Why isn't this card colored green?
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Dex

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Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2010, 08:58:08 PM »
...the plane then crashes into the sea, and instead of being thrown a buoy - you get offered a cigarette! The plane goes into a forest, you get offered some dodgy park tickets. Finally, it hits a hillside - and you get photos taken raising the two fingers!
Train + China + Spring Festival = Torture

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Pashley

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Re: Welcome to China
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2010, 10:58:42 PM »
Insh'allah is Arabic, approximately "God Willing". It is an extremely common expression. For at least some Muslims, it is required whenever you speak of the future. I'll meet you at the restaurant at 5, insh'allah. To leave it out would be to disrespect Allah, since if he does not will it, you won't arrive.

The Hajj, the pilgrimage to Mecca, is utterly huge. Something like two million people fly in every year, all at roughly the same time. Expats living in Saudi, especially Jeddah where all the pilgrim flights land, get wonderful deals on flights out since the airlines don't want to bring the machines home empty.

So there's a planeload of foreigners coming in to Karachi and the Captain comes on "We have begun our descent into Karachi airport and will be at the terminal in ten minutes, inshallah."

On a related note, Persian fardad, Arabic bokhra and Spanish manana all carry roughly the same meaning, literally tomorrow but in practice a vague and general word used in stalling, procrastinating, etc. I think the other two learned that usage from the Arabs.

Malesh is another handy Arabc word, with a meaning somewhere between "no problem"/"no worries" and "who cares"/"screw it".

There are T-shirts with the IBM logo linked to the words Inshallah, Bokhra, Malesh".
Who put a stop payment on my reality check?