Raoul's China Saloon (V5.0) Beta
The Bar Room => The Champagne Cabana => Topic started by: Stil on September 02, 2010, 05:16:44 AM
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I wonder how many newbie teachers were on this flight.
(http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a197/Bissessar/Miscellaneous/Ooops.jpg)
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I wonder what they say on a recorded message that annouces you are about to crash into the sea. As it is a British plane I guess it would be something like:
"Ladies and Gentlemen. We are experiencing a few problems with our planes relationship to the approaching sea view. Please fasten your seat belts and adopt a stiff upper lip position.
Our cabin crew will distribute Lifesavers to women and children. Male passengers are invited to join in us in a choral - the words of an abridged version of Abide With Me are to be found by pressing D1 on your touchscreen.
Drinks will now be served to our First Class passengers."
Other countries may have different versions.
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aoaoaoaoao
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british airways are a mockery
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I read the article in a HK paper, considering the massacre in Manilla and the crash in Heilongjiang, the timing was not ideal. Not that it's fine at any other time.
I wonder how many people turned to their loved ones and made a last minute confession
ananananan
"Honey, junior is not your son"
asasasasas
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Ladies and Gentlemen,
This aircraft is about to crash in a catastrophic fashion. Your chances for survival are less that one thousandth of one percent. We are told that the impact will be very painful, but that you won't live long enough to suffer much. You now have 40 seconds to make peace with the world and any deity you care to call upon.
Thank you for flying British Airways. It has been a pleasure having you aboard and we look forward to serving you again soon.
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You now have 40 seconds to make peace with the world and any deity you care to call upon.
If it was an American airline it would say something along the lines of "please turn to the nearest passenger of dark skin, or evil looks and tell them the wonders of Jesus Christ and how they can all live eternally in heaven if they accept Jesus as their personal savior." ahahahahah
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"Cabin crew quickly realized the error and moved to reassure the terrified passengers"
Would that be "oops, my bad"?
Or the Emily Litella, "Never mind"?
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ChinaEastern - We are about to crash into a mountain. 1 of you will die, and 2 of you will suffer slight injuries.
Aerolinas Argentinas - We are about to crash. Therefore the stewards would like to receive their tips now.
RyanAir - We are about to crash. Please purchase your oxygen masks.
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Alitalia - The plane is about to crash! Please to not panic - leave that to us. Passengers are asked to remain seated while the crew abandon the aircraft.
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ahhh ba:)
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this thread is a tad sick isn't it? I'm still going to add to it though: Air China. I'm sorry but we fear of the to be dropped. Please excuse for not waiting on the vehicle. Fasten the belt for one's seat. But first, enjoy for your pleasure this ten minute film about the successfully Beijing Olympics. Thank you. China welcomes You!
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Death by Chinglish! bkbkbkbkbk
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...the plane then crashes into the sea, and instead of being thrown a buoy - you get offered a cigarette! The plane goes into a forest, you get offered some dodgy park tickets. Finally, it hits a hillside - and you get photos taken raising the two fingers!
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Insh'allah is Arabic, approximately "God Willing". It is an extremely common expression. For at least some Muslims, it is required whenever you speak of the future. I'll meet you at the restaurant at 5, insh'allah. To leave it out would be to disrespect Allah, since if he does not will it, you won't arrive.
The Hajj, the pilgrimage to Mecca, is utterly huge. Something like two million people fly in every year, all at roughly the same time. Expats living in Saudi, especially Jeddah where all the pilgrim flights land, get wonderful deals on flights out since the airlines don't want to bring the machines home empty.
So there's a planeload of foreigners coming in to Karachi and the Captain comes on "We have begun our descent into Karachi airport and will be at the terminal in ten minutes, inshallah."
On a related note, Persian fardad, Arabic bokhra and Spanish manana all carry roughly the same meaning, literally tomorrow but in practice a vague and general word used in stalling, procrastinating, etc. I think the other two learned that usage from the Arabs.
Malesh is another handy Arabc word, with a meaning somewhere between "no problem"/"no worries" and "who cares"/"screw it".
There are T-shirts with the IBM logo linked to the words Inshallah, Bokhra, Malesh".
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There are some good stories about air traffic control at:
http://www.businessballs.com/airtrafficcontrollersfunnyquotes.htm
For those who find cutting and pasting a chore here is one:
A KingAir had just rotated (lifted-off the runway) at take-off when there was an enormous bang and the starboard engine burst into flames. After stamping on the rudder to sort out the asymmetric thrust, trying to feather the propeller and going through the engine fire drills with considerable calmness and aplomb, the stress took its toll on the Captain... He transmitted to the tower in a level friendly voice: "Ladies and gentleman. There is no problem at all but we're just going to land for a nice cup of tea." He then switched to cabin intercom and screamed at the passengers: "Mayday. Mayday. Mayday. Engine fire. Prop won't feather. If I can't hold this asymmetric we're going in. Emergency landing. Get the crash crew out." The aircraft landed safely with the passengers' hair standing on end.
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Thanks for the link x, very amusing in places.
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