China-exclusive things you'd like to take an Uzi to

We all know about things like staring and spitting and Chinese driving and being talked loudly about by people a meter away from you, and how much they truly do suck massive portions of ass. You're encouraged in this thread to go beyond that...depth and subtlety appreciated.

I'll start.

Recorded music performed by very small children.
Watching little kids sing is unbearably precious and an endearing experience. But only in China do they actually cut albums of, like, 5-year-olds singing songs. People buy CDs of it. They play it on the radio and in store/restaurant muzak systems. It gives me the creeping horrors. It started some years ago as simple little kiddy songs, and those were bad enough. Over time it's mutated and evolved to include disco and hip-hop cuts. It needs to die, die, die.
We hates it, Precious, we hates it!

The laowai.  Not certain they are China specific - but this is the place I have encountered it the most.  Not all laowai - just the ones who figure that they are god's gift to the Chinese.  The arrogant, the misfits, the rude, the 'we do it better back home' brigade.

I hate it when they talk about the "Chinese" in front of Chinese people, I hate it when they tell Chinese people what the Chinese people are like, I hate it when they complain about things not being the same, I hate it when they assume they can walk into a place and re-arrange everything to suit them, I hate it when they are unfriendly to the locals and make it harder for the people coming after them.

I don't think this is terribly subtle or deep - but - it is heartfelt - will that do?

Dear oh dear, I talk about "The Chinese" to my wife all the time 

Then again, she talks about what 'foreigners' (one neat, easy package) like to do, so it's evens stevens, really...

I would take an uzi to the architecture.  About 95% of it, that is.  Seriously, how can a country that boasts of 5000 years of history look so flippin' ugly?  It beggars belief! 

Related to Raoul's beef: Christmas music, and Christmas generally in China.
The most specific example I can draw on though was a local Mcdonalds. My son was an addict, the playroom was free, the toilet was clean and the coffee passable and reasonably cheap.
However, the buggers played "Frosty The Snowman" non stop, literally, from October through to March. No one else seemed to notice.
And the store assistants wore little Santa hats. When I asked one what it was for, she said she had no idea: the manager made them wear them.
Someone should teach "the Chinese" that Christmas is Santa's birthday! Its up to us "foreigners", including Jews, Hindus and Rastafarians to do this!

Actually Lotus, my wife [Chinese] generalises about her own people all the time. She has come to realise though, after several years in Australia, that she can't do the same with "foreigners".

I get embarrassed by people who have only been here a couple of months being out with Chinese friends and saying stuff like "The Chinese have no xxxx"  "The Chinese do xxx" - clearly the people they are with aren't doing x or whatever, and are too polite to tell them where to get off.

If you are at home with someone you know well there are many things you can say, but this one really miffs me.  The "Chinese" are as varied in action, thought etc as any other nationality.

(Although I had to laugh yesterday - a Chinese mate rang me from Germany where he has been doing post-grad work, to tell me he has a job in Scotland and can't wait to leave Germany, because after 12 months there, he has found the German people to be incredibly boring! But then again - he was having a personal conversation with me, and not in front of a group of Germans in a social setting.)

Hell yeah, agreed about CHristmas.  This tokenistic celebration of western things with no understanding of them is extremely annoying.  I would far rather they totally abandonned that and instead adopted useful western things such as proper management, planning in advance, etc.

People charging on to elevators before anyone has the chance to exit the elevator!!! Makes me CRAAAAAAAZY!!! 

It may not be "China exclusive" but the staring and hellos never cease to annoy. Also the lack of respect for personal space and privacy.

 In regards to Lotus Eaters post I've found that Chinese people (hope I'm not being an ignorant laowai here) are the first to make broad, sweeping and often inaccurate generalizations about Chinese people. "All Chinese people do this" , "All Chinese people think that" ect....

Hell yeah, agreed about CHristmas.  This tokenistic celebration of western things with no understanding of them is extremely annoying.

It's not really much different in Canada these days.

People charging on to elevators before anyone has the chance to exit the elevator!!! Makes me CRAAAAAAAZY!!! 

 I actually quite like this. I pay no attention to them as I walk through.  I especially like supermarkets where I have a trolley on an escalator and people are gathered at the bottom chatting.

Typical conversation.

Chinese guy - ni hao
Me          - ni hao
Chinese guy - aya, nide zhongguohua shuode mahaode!!

I can say hello so my chinese is great!

Annoying

What I hate in China is smoking. Not smoking in general but Chinese also smoke in elevators although it is non-smoking area. They also smoke in non-smoking rooms. 

And I really hate these kids-trousers with the outlet slot. They do their  and  anywhere - on a ship, on the street even in public houses (not toilets). 

Yes, both the "Your Chinese is great" and the other extreme of blank looks are equally annoying!

Mind you, I do think the regional variations cause this a lot of the time.  Since I moved to Dalian I've found I can speak Chinese much more easily as they speak fairly standard putonghua here.

The men who walk around the streets with a little monkey on a leash. The force the animal to do tricks and hit it with a stick to make it comply. I always wanted to take that stick away from them and make them ride the little tricycle some of them carry around.

We had a saloonite do just that, or almost that.  Gretch hassled the guy, tried to buy the monkey and otherwise made him look like a fool.  Yeah Gretch.

Elevators stopping at midnight. What about people who go on trips? And emergency? And the building has like 20 floors? Argh.