China-exclusive things you'd like to take an Uzi to

What I really hate in China is ................ Christmas time 

They use these trashy trimmings for huge christmas trees.
At MC Dona or in shopping malls, they play one song the whole day.
The sales ladies wear this stupid jelly bag cap.
Anr, what is worst, at The Bund in Shanghai, they have these telescopes. You have to put in a coin and can see through it - and it starts playing a Christmas Song 

The so-called funny shows you can hear in a taxi over the radio. A Chinese guy with a more than unpleasant husky voice QUACKING his jokes. It's so monotonous and annoying and even though it is supposed to be funny, I've never seen a single person laugh. At night it sounds more like brainwashing material and is quite scary.

Can someone PLEASE explain to me why floors in some places seem to get mopped 86 times a day, but the handrails on staircases (often in the same area as the constantly mopped floor) can so grimy and filthy as to perhaps having never been dusted or cleaned since the building was first built? What's up with that?

Can someone PLEASE explain to me why floors in some places seem to get mopped 86 times a day, but the handrails on staircases (often in the same area as the constantly mopped floor) can so grimy and filthy as to perhaps having never been dusted or cleaned since the building was first built? What's up with that?

One of the reasons they are grimy and filthy is because no one uses them. Think about it, if they had hands sliding up and down on them all day, they'd be slightly polished. They are not. Why not?

Chinese never (or rarely) use/touch handrails whether on steps or escalators. Next time you are on an escalator or steps, watch.

I was told this is because handrails "are dirty". Not from lack of cleaning, but because "people's hands are dirty" (i.e. digging for gold in their ears, noses and other cavities).

So probably the workers don't bother to wipe the handrails because no one uses them. So therefore, they don't exist.

Oops, I forgot to mention another reason handrails are neglected here, at least on the stairwells. They're usually dangerous - poorly installed and not too securely fastened to the walls.

It happened to me once on the first day of the school year in the brand spanking-new building on the brand spanking-new campus. I lightly placed my hand on one and it fell off the wall.

Oops, I forgot to mention another reason handrails are neglected here, at least on the stairwells. They're usually dangerous - poorly installed and not too securely fastened.

It happened to me once on the first day of the school year in the brand spanking-new building on the brand spanking-new campus. I lightly placed my hand on one and it fell to the ground.

There was a cleaning person who watched this and, of course, giggled.

Now imagine you are that cleaning person, and you're thinking, "Right, if I clean that thing and it falls to the ground, who gets blamed? I think I'll go swab the floor for the 84th time this afternoon."

I don't think an uzi would do much good... but the lack of t&a on Chinese women and the abundance of hair in other places than on their heads

IF an uzi would help, I would surely be shooting around 

Oh Martin, you must be experiencing some unusual girls!!!!

You think maybe he's found the "he-shes" already??

Only ever saw  those in BKK. Fortunately they haven't crossed my path in China yet.

They are here, though.