Specific Individual Expat Teachers You'd Like To Send Back Home- Via Catapult

I'll roll the ball with an account of Canadian P...and you'll soon see why I include the nationality in the name. I encountered this beast while working at a Web International franchise in a major manufacturing city east of Shanghai.

One of the first things you noticed about Canadian P. was his fanatical devotion to his home country of Canada. Don't get me wrong...I love Canada too. I love it a lot. I may look into going there to live if I ever leave China.
But this guy was foaming at the mouth. An embarrassment. His posted English Corner topics were always things like (and I swear I am not making this up) "Wildlife Species of Canadian National Parks". He began his ECs by putting the Maple Leaf up on the whiteboard. His regular classes invariably got deformed to turn the topic to "the way things are back in Canada". EVERYTHING the man did at the school got somehow turned into propaganda that had even the other Canadians among us puking.

His monomania might have been somewhat forgiveable, were it not for his deep loathing of China and everything Chinese...especially the people. He, of course, complained loudly and constantly about everything that happened to him here. He was intolerably self-righteous and condescending to the Chinese staff and students; I can only imagine what he must have been like on the street. He invariably addressed all male staffers as "Boy". After witnessing one horrible ordeal involving the IT guys, I actually went up to the staffers in question, made sure Canadian P. was out of earshot, and told them, "Please allow me to apologize for what has just been said to you, on behalf of all foreigners in China. We all also think Canadian P. is an idiot."

When I was at Web, Canadian P. was coming to the end of his contract. He loudly and gleefully talked about how soon he'd be going back to Canada, and how glad he was to be getting rid of China once and for all. "Good riddance", we all thought. But no, he instead took another job locally, and quickly got bounced from school to school. I encountered him again at the local Westbourne Academy...just before he got fired in the face of vociferous student complaints.

Maybe he went back home already. But if he hasn't, let me be the first to load one into the ol' Saloon Mega-Trebuchet, aim it vaguely to the east/northeast, cut the restraining rope, and watch that mutha fly...

Nightmare FT's?  I've worked with a Perv, who leered at and hit on every female who looked 14 or older, including the mothers of my students.

Then there was the big, strong guy with the scary Temper.  Good teacher, but everyone tensed up when he entered the room.

These are both archetypes: Lust and Wrath. But the guy who replaced me at my first school was a case I haven't heard of before.  He was technically a good teacher, and courteous to everyone, but extremely distant.  He never opened up to anyone, had no curiosity about anything, and didn't seem to like (or dislike) the students.  Eventually he claimed his mother was sick, flew home and never replied to any mail.  I came back and taught for 4 months until my school found someone else; even so the kids hadn't had a class in over a month, and their English had atrophied.  Asshole.

Let's see, there was the guy who thought masturbation was a good EC topic. There was the crazy woman who was 65 and kept trying to get me to invest in every internet scam she read about. She later pulled a runner and stole a laptop from the school. There was the teacher who demanded payment for any little thing. I was busy one day and asked him if he could just a do a quick assessment of a student's level and he told me I would need to pay him 100 RMB for that. I also worked with one similiar to the guy Raoul talked about. He basically went into an EC and told the Chinese how terrible they were

What is it with the Candaian thing that they really want to make sure that they are not mistaken for Americans.  Years ago I moved into an apartment after 2 Canadians, they had left benind a huge flag draped over the balcony  WTK. One was a whiner and the other, the sensitive type.  I really liked them both but what is it with the flag thing and Canadians.
Teachers that I would love to send back home? It is a waiting game.  Fortunately I don't have to work with them, they are just in the same town.

What is it with the Candaian thing that they really want to make sure that they are not mistaken for Americans. 

Where would you like me to start??

They are too close to each other, and do not want to be identified with the inanities/insanities/stupidities that can sometimes occur "down South", especially in politics. 
They do have a strong national pride, and to be mistaken for a member of another nation can offend some people.
They do not like being deemed to be second best, as some people do comparing them with Americans.

But I will let some of our Canadian Members explain further.  By the way, Woza, what is your nationality?




One should also not confuse Indians with Pakistanis!!!

AMonk, I hear ya!

Many Americans, like me, ALSO don't like being associated with the "inanities/insanities/stupidities" of our politicians. For many of us, Bush (and most of his GOP cronies) is our worst nightmare!

 

Woza is from Australia.  She is super nice even when she is picking on us WONDERFUL Canadians.

Yes, I am proud to be a Canadian.  I did try to immigrate to USAnia when I was 21, but couldn't get into the USAF because I didn't have the required American History course and I didn't have my High School Diploma from Canada. (still don't)  I had 183 credit points and only needed 160 (that was 40+ years ago so the numbers might not be correct, but close) but couldn't get an exam for the History course.  So I came back to Canada and moved to Calgary.

I do have a Canadian Flag on the wall in my apartment.  I do have a small Canadian flag taped to my file box on my desk at school.  BUT, I don't sing the Canadian national anthem in restaurants in Suzhou.   

No that was a directed comment about a teacher that sang a national anthem in Suzhou,(with Raoul present).  I just yodel and drive Raoul nuts 

What is it with the Candaian thing that they really want to make sure that they are not mistaken for Americans.  Years ago I moved into an apartment after 2 Canadians, they had left benind a huge flag draped over the balcony  WTK. One was a whiner and the other, the sensitive type. 

 I hear ya. I recently had dinner with an American who has lived in Canada for the last twenty years. He hit the nail on the head when he said "the major difference between Canadians and Americans is that if somebody of another nationality says "aren't Canadians and Americans basically the same ?" an American will say yes while many Canadians will fly off the handle and cite many trivial differences.

 Do Irish people worry so much about being mistaken for Brits? Do Kiwis fret about being mistaken for Ozzies? Do Belgians freak out about mistaken for French? In my experience...no. Only Canadians have this utterly bizarre sensitivity.
 

Once I had a Topic,
made it run,
made it race against time.

Once I had a Topic....
Now it's done....
Buddy, can you spare a Thorazine?

Marko, a big ...adian, with Yugoslav roots and a mother with a cellar somewhere back in ...ada.
He'd somehow escaped the cellar, and on the back of a physics major and a pile of non-specific TEFL certificates, had been working in Japan. Our FAO thought she'd pulled off a wonderful coup, until he actually showed up. Gross in all his habits, including displaying on the front of his shirt what he had eaten-and that was a lot- over the last week. Cracked on to the most feeble minded and immature student he could find, then introduced her to one and all as "my girlfriend". Usually arrived at class, if at all, so late that the students had mostly given up and left. The few who remained wondered why they bothered. Borrowed money from anyone foolish enough to believe him. Maybe he was sending it home to his sick mother, but hitting on young Chinese teachers getting 1,000 a month, then having no recollection of the deal is a bit low. Even after he was sacked he came back begging.
Marko, for me, mapped the depths of desperation that otherwise intelligent FAO's, at [for China] reasonable schools, will plumb to recruit a white face. This bastard and other psychotics I could detail, unemployable in their own societies, were getting the same base salary as someone with teaching qualifications who takes their job seriously.
And that, also for me, is one of the true inequities of the whole EFL game in China.

Don't forget our infamous M Wolff.  The one and only letch, non-lawyer, non-teacher, pervert.

A FT who moved into my apartment, when I left for Dalain.  He agreed that I could store my things in the spare room and I let him use my kitchen stuff and furniture.  He stole stuff, wiped the hardrive on the computer  which he unpacked form our things without our consent, was so bloody aggrogant.   Good news is, he is leaving Dongguan.  Work has dried up for him, as it does for a lot of people who come here and think they are the best thing since someone decided to put yeast in bread.

Now that I have stayed on topic.

Let me tell you, the only flag that I would display is a white one.
I hate overt nationalism.

DS I didn't know you were Canadian.

DS I didn't know you were Canadian.

Hope you still like me as much as you did before you found out I was a Canadian.  However, that is not to imply that you liked me before either.

Let me tell you, the only flag that I would display is a white one.

She surrenders easily!!