What scared the bejesus out of me

Thanks A-Train! There is so much that happens that we can not explain.

Ooohhh... 2 sentence horror stories.  Sounds like as much fun as a Bulwer Lytton contests.


My wife bought a durian fruit at the market.  As I walked by the kitchen, I realized that it was hatching.

I liked the one about the amputated phantom limb with a cold hand grasping it.

Here's my contribution:

He came to, slowly, with the realization that he was half-naked in a bathtub full of blood-covered ice and that his back hurt.  A poster-sized note on the opposite wall had the message: "We want you to play more games in English class."

He was highly regarded by some mutual friends and seemed like such a nice guy.  As he slid the English teaching contract across the table for me to sign, I had no idea that it only would apply to me, not to him.

  I'm not sure I needed this

...

I'd heard that they have a nasty and potentially dangerous sting, but I hadn't heard that they had arms.

I thought the kindergarten class was just being silly when they wouldn't stop talking about a giant peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich.  Then I turned around just as the tentacles were reaching out for me.

I sat down at my desk to find that the computer was already on.  My wife's credit card laid silently nearby.

When I finally awoke, I found myself in a large hall at a desk.  There was only 30 minutes left to write the calculus final exam.

Homemade baijiu?  OK, I'll try some.

C'mon, the oil is hot enough to kill the bacteria. Let's just eat here.

His cold eyes easily pieced my carefully composed demeanor of calm indifference.  Then he handed me the list of new paperwork I needed to get the visa approved.