long distance relationships and all that fun stuff

On the bright side however, if you like Asian guys I've seen Western girls do pretty well here 

Amen to that 

hi reesey2369,

how did you go with the long distance relationship thing?  I ask only because I'm curious as my boyfriend and I will be doing a similar thing soon.

FYI, to add to this topic, two friends of mine (who also happened to both study Chinese with me) were going out for only 2 months before they both went long distance, my friend (the woman) went to study in Hangzhou, while the guy went to Germany, and that was for 1 and a half years; now since that time, they are stronger than ever!

I guess it just depends on the relationship and what you're both prepared to put into it?
 

Quote from: Leftybadeye on December 07, 2011, 09:08:11 PM

On the bright side however, if you like Asian guys I've seen Western girls do pretty well here 

Amen to that 

I'll add a "hell yeah," to that.

Reesey,
Take the good news while you can. IMHO the vast majority of long-distance relationships can only hold up for so long before they grow cold and/or one or both partners are tempted away by someone closer at hand.

The female half goes to China/Asia for a year.... it might work.

The male half goes to China/Asia for a year.... it won't last more than a week after arrival.

So... your relationship "may" have a chance.

Err, umm, I'd like to just point out that I noticed the difference in my replies from a year ago and now.

I didn't notice this post was from a year ago, and I just responded to FullRiceBowls comment. Then, I went back and read page one and realized that I had commented on it before.

A year ago I was married, now I'm not. I don't want you to think I'm some skeevy cheating woman. I'm a skeevy single woman now. 

And anyway, I guess this just goes to show that having a close-distance relationship isn't so successful either, so just do what your heart tells u and let the chips fall where they may. 

Hey Annie!

Wow, that post was from almost a year ago. Time flies. I'm teaching ESL in China and have been here over half a year. My boyfriend stayed back home and is coming to visit in a few weeks. We are still together and yes, it's been exceedingly difficult. I wouldn't recommend a long distance relationship. there must be some subconscious s&m tendencies buried in my brain somewhere.

We are working out but I wouldn't say the coast is clear until we are living together in the same city again...I.e. when I'm back home. It'll take us a while to reacquaint ourselves and for me to deal with the aftermath of reverse culture shock.

If you are going to do it,be absolutely certain that this is the person you want to be with. The difficulties will be too overwhelming otherwise. And sexist as it is, I reluctantly agree with Brandex. As a female in China, I have seen quite a number of men break up with overseas gfs. I imagine that there may be an equal number of women who break up with an overseas bf but I haven't met any yet.

It is actually a documented phenomena I read an article about, and a serious issue for Western companies sending expat managers to Asian countries, even with their wives/children in tow. They often return quickly, sometimes no longer as a couple.

They call Hong Kong the graveyard of expat marriages. I'd imagine the mainland is even worse. If it's a guy like Raoul or myself or some of the others who know China and its people well, it might work, because the guy knows what the scheming local women are up to. For the bright-eyed expat who doesn't understand Mandarin and hasn't heard the conniving conversations amongst Chinese women, the shocking tales of manipulation, a thousand times over, the attention can be overwhelming, the temptation too great.

zero, do the Chinese men behave in a similar "scheming" or "conniving" manner towards foreign females? I ask out of curiosity because my observations here in Australia are that it is common to see an attractive younger Asian lady hanging off a "drop kick" type anglo male. I think that I have only ever seen one old Anglo lady and Asian man together.

Granny, no I haven't seen it work that way. I'm tempted to go on a long discussion of evolution, supply-and-demand, and other theoretical explanations. But I think you know better than I the ways of the world. Ever keep a female dog around the house? Notice what happens to the neighborhood fleabags when she's in heat? That's all the explanation we need.  :-)

GM, most Chinese men aren't really that interested in hooking up with foreign women. They'll consider it the opportunity presents itself, if there is an attraction there, but it isn't generally something they go looking for.

Many (not all, or even most) Chinese women DO go looking for relationships with foreign men.

In China, as with most traditional cultures, it is acceptable for a woman to marry "up" but not so acceptable for a man to do so. Until fairly recently the huge discrepancies between local and expat salaries mean that the foreign partner is almost always the one who is "richer." Also, until recently, foreigners meant status. So a foreign partner was seen as a step up from a Chinese one.

Of course times are changing and blah blah blah but I think that's generally why Chinese women go after foreign men (with the conniving etc.) but Chinese men don't go after foreign women in the same way.

I could be wrong, but I suspect there's a segment of Chinese men who are attracted to Western women because they're "exotic", just as many Western men are attracted to Chinese women...

Hoo boy, this topic is really diverging...

GM, most Chinese men aren't really that interested in hooking up with foreign women. They'll consider it the opportunity presents itself, if there is an attraction there, but it isn't generally something they go looking for.
 
........

Of course times are changing and blah blah blah but I think that's generally why Chinese women go after foreign men (with the conniving etc.) but Chinese men don't go after foreign women in the same way.

Frankly, I think for many Chinese men it is insecurity that keeps them away from foreign women. That.....and ignorant assumptions and generalizations about what western women are. The idea that not all western women are the same does not cross the mind of many Chinese. They saw "American Pie" and "Friends" and think it's real life.

Most Chinese consider western women to be 'open'....which is scary to a not quite insignificant number of Chinese folks I have met. I find that a little hilarious since for all the talk I hear about 'traditional' Chinese women I have not encountered many. I do not believe I have met more here than in the U.S. Most only give lip service to tradition....then they give.....um...'lip service'.

With their lips, on a man's member.