A Resource for English Teachers: How to Use a F@%king Apostrophe

Upon many year's of reading this' s'ite, I've come to the s'ad conclus'ion that way too many expat Englis'h teacher's, even thos'e with res'pectable teaching credential's, can't tell an apos'trophe from a dead crab.

If thi's were a web'site for fan's of Wheel of Fortune  or WCW Wre'stlemania, thi's probably wouldn't bother me s'o much. But we're not, and it doe's.

S'o, a's a public s'ervice, here are the rules' for us'ing an apo'strophe. Might want ta look into 'em.

Please.

The Apostrophe
Brought to you by the Purdue University Online Writing Lab
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The apostrophe has three uses:

1) to form possessives of nouns
2) to show the omission of letters
3) to indicate certain plurals of lowercase letters.

Apostrophes are NOT used for possessive pronouns or for noun plurals, including acronyms.
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Forming possessives of nouns
To see if you need to make a possessive, turn the phrase around and make it an "of the..." phrase. For example:

the boy's hat = the hat of the boy
three days' journey = journey of three days

If the noun after "of" is a building, an object, or a piece of furniture, then no apostrophe is needed!

room of the hotel = hotel room

door of the car = car door

leg of the table = table leg

Once you've determined whether you need to make a possessive, follow these rules to create one.

• add 's to the singular form of the word (even if it ends in -s):
the owner's car
James's hat

• add 's to the plural forms that do not end in -s:

the children's game
the geese's honking

• add ' to the end of plural nouns that end in -s:

houses' roofs
three friends' letters

• add 's to the end of compound words:

my brother-in-law's money
 • add 's to the last noun to show joint possession of an object:

Todd and Anne's apartment
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Showing omission of letters
Apostrophes are used in contractions. A contraction is a word (or set of numbers) in which one or more letters (or numbers) have been omitted. The apostrophe shows this omission. Contractions are common in speaking and in informal writing. To use an apostrophe to create a contraction, place an apostrophe where the omitted letter(s) would go. Here are some examples:

don't = do not

I'm = I am

he'll = he will

who's = who is

shouldn't = should not

didn't = did not

could've= could have (NOT "could of"!)

'60 = 1960
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Forming plurals of lowercase letters
Apostrophes are used to form plurals of letters that appear in lowercase; here the rule appears to be more typographical than grammatical, e.g. "three ps" versus "three p's." To form the plural of a lowercase letter, place 's after the letter. There is no need for apostrophes indicating a plural on capitalized letters, numbers, and symbols (though keep in mind that some editors, teachers, and professors still prefer them). Here are some examples:

p's and q's = a phrase indicating politeness, possibly from "mind your pleases and thankyous"?

Nita's mother constantly stressed minding one's p's and q's.

three Macintosh G4s = three of the Macintosh model G4

There are two G4s currently used in the writing classrom.

many &s = many ampersands

That printed page has too many &s on it.

the 1960s = the years in decade from 1960 to 1969

The 1960s were a time of great social unrest.
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Don't use apostrophes for possessive pronouns or for noun plurals.
Apostrophes should not be used with possessive pronouns because possessive pronouns already show possession -- they don't need an apostrophe. His, her, its, my, yours, ours are all possessive pronouns. Here are some examples:

wrong: his' book
correct: his book

wrong: The group made it's decision.
correct: The group made its decision.

(Note: Its and it's are not the same thing. It's is a contraction for "it is" and its is a possesive pronoun meaning "belonging to it." It's raining out= it is raining out. A simple way to remember this rule is the fact that you don't use an apostrophe for the possesives his or hers, so don't do it with its!)

 
wrong: a friend of yours'
correct: a friend of yours

wrong: She waited for three hours' to get her ticket.
correct: She waited for three hours to get her ticket.
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Proofreading for apostrophes
A good time to proofread is when you have finished writing the paper. Try the following strategies to proofread for apostrophes:

• If you tend to leave out apostrophes, check every word that ends in -s or -es to see if it needs an apostrophe.

• If you put in too many apostrophes, check every apostrophe to see if you can justify it with a rule for using apostrophes.

We have interactive exercises on using apostrophes: you can try apostrophe exercise one ( http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/interact/g_apostEX1.html ) or apostrophe exercise two ( http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/interact/g_apostEX2.html ).

Aha.. now we will all have to write correctly, use our spell checker and punctuate appropriately.  There are going to be some sad souls!!

<Yep, especially you. -R>

I'm already the spell checker. Raoul will have to be the apostrophe checker.
I wouldn't worry tooo much, Laoban. Other Forums are waaaaay worse!..........and don't tell me I should use Fora. This isn't Latin class!

Other Forums are waaaaay worse!..........and don't tell me I should use Fora. This isn't Latin class!

"Forums" is an acceptable alternative in English.  (In Latin it would be "Fori", if you're talking of plural/multiple locations).

Non scholae sed vitae discipuli....need to watch those apostrophes....

I proofread for pay. I cannot proofread after hours.
This is a legitimate excuse for poor typing!

I'm with Schnerby on this one. Plus, I let a lot of things slide when I read most forums.

Sorry, people, but I'm with Raoul and George on this one. 

Barring a few typos (on account of racing), I cringe whenever I encounter bad English, mispelt words or misplaced apostrophes.  They are worse than fingernails screeching down a backboard.  They can ruin a perfectly good novel, and make me avoid certain Posts (generally on other websites).

I can see where you are coming from. If you're reading a book you can reasonably expect a typo-free read. If you're reading a webpage I think you even can reasonably expect spell check.

On a forum typos can and will happen.
As for apostropes, I'm not going to chuck 'em in willy nilly, but I'm also not going to think too hard about the rules or refer to grammar posts/threads.

Can't we just let our hair down a little?

As for apostropes

Can't we just let our hair down a little?

Not if you spell like that!!

See, I know how to spell apostrophe but my cold fingers don't know how to type it! 
An apostrope is a bit like a llama, FYI   

What I'm asking is, can we just appreciate the content without correcting each other's spelling/grammar/usage/style?
We are all (or at least mostly) teaching English so we can all (or at least mostly) use it properly. Let's not get petty.

OTOH......if you consider your post is worthy, the least you can do is make sure it's correctly written.
OTOOH...some typos make for good entertainment.

I choose not to use them  They areNT that important to me KHERE 

Schnerby, I proofread for pay like you, but have the opposite reaction out of hours - I continue to notice all the mistakes even when it's not my job to correct them, my husband thinks it's great when I find mistakes in newspapers and on TV (I've given up watching CCTV9 because it's so annoying).

That said, although I notice them they don't bother me on a forum like this as it's not a workplace so I'm not too worried about people making mistakes, we all make typos after all and if we had to spell check everything everytime it would definitely limit my creativity and interest in posting.

Just venting some frustration, really.
There's no dress code for English here; kinda figure it's up to us individually to do that.

I got no problem with a good honest typo. We all make 'em.
I god no problem with people writing in a hurriedly. Some of us...that's just their style.
Using non-standard stuff to produce some character is great...no problem there.

But there's a distressingly large group of us on here that keep making the same mistakes, again and again and again...with apostrophes being perhaps the most glaring example. This indicates that just maybe the authors don't really know how to drive that thing.

So...sorry. Feel a bit better now. I'll relax and try to remember which code it is that'll add a dead crab to our punctuation set.