What's in the News

Regarding #2, I'd hard that described as a "dead ringer".

Quote from: A-Train on February 08, 2013, 01:53:15 AM

I wonder if anyone can validate these two, relevant, legends.

1.) A wake is called that because it was done to make sure the person was really dead and, if not, people would be there when he "waked up".

2.) A bell would be tied to the corpse when buried so that if he became conscious he would move and ring it, thus the term "saved by the bell" and the person monitoring the bell had the "graveyard shift".  The first one sounds more like a boxing metaphor so I'm skeptical.

1. "While the modern usage of the verb "wake" is "become or stay alert" meaning, a "wake" for the dead harks back to the antiquated "watch" or "guard" sense. This is contrary to the urban legend that people at a wake are waiting in case the deceased should "wake up.""Ivan Brunetti; Wilton, David A. (2004). Word myths: debunking linguistic urban legends, via Wikipedia
Debunked here; "Those phrases may have had nothing to do with bells being attached to coffins to guard against premature burial, but such devices did exist and were occasionally used. Given that some people had sufficient fear of being buried alive to invest in such coffins, it is at least plausible that they would also have made arrangements for someone to monitor the grave so that their coffin's bell could be heard in the event of them ringing it. Nevertheless, and as usual with phrase etymology, plausibility and truth are only distant relatives". http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/graveyard-shift.html

Figures.  All the cool legends get debunked.  You can't see the Great Wall from the moon...The U.S. Interstate Highway System was NOT built for defense purposes, (And not initiated by Eisenhower), and now the wake/bell disillusionment. Now I know why, "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance", Maxwell Scott says, "When the legend becomes fact, print the legend".

regarding the second, look up Bateson's belfry.

Tesco jokes I've heard recently (I wish they were my own!!)

“I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse..... I guess Tesco just listened!

Anyone want a burger from Tesco? Yay or neigh?

Not entirely sure how Tesco are going to get over this hurdle.

Waitress in Tesco asked if I wanted anything on my Burger. So I had £5 each way!

Had some burgers from Tesco for my tea last night .....
I still have a bit between my teeth.

A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Tesco.
Her condition is said to be stable.

Tesco are now testing all their vegetarian burgers for traces of unicorn

"I've just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer .... AND THEY'RE OFF"

Tesco now forced to deny presence of zebra in burgers,
as shoppers confuse barcodes for serving suggestions.

Said to the missus, These Tesco burgers give me the trots....

"To beef or not to beef, that is equestrian".....

A cow walks into a bar.
Barman says, "Why the long face?"
Cow says "Illegal ingredients, coming over here stealing our jobs!"

I hear the smaller version of those Tesco burgers make great horse d'oeuvres.

These Tesco burger jokes are going on a bit....
Talk about flogging a dead horse!

  These should be in the Jokes thread

Beijing is considering a ban on BBQs.   
http://www.theage.com.au/world/china-considers-bbq-ban-to-combat-smog-20130221-2esi7.html

Sure, ban BBQs and let the big factories emit to their hearts content 

Seriously? 

Seriously?

You can't make this stuff up. Well you could try, but in a tall tales competition, China reality would win over western imagination 9 times out of 10. Remember when China Daily reprinted something from The Onion as a serious news story? That's because they're used to it being true.

Seeing as how we have a discussion at the bar turning towards the topic of scots whisky, i though this might be of interest.

Massive whisky spill at Chivas distillery sends spirits pouring into Scottish sewer

LONDON—A massive spill at a Chivas plant has sent the smell of spirits flowing through a Scottish sewer and sorrow coursing through the hearts of Scotch whisky fans.

Chivas Brothers Ltd. spokeswoman Jennifer Stevenson says the group is investigating what she described as an “accidental loss” of spirit at the company’s bottling plant in Dumbarton, Scotland on Feb. 26.

She declined to estimate how much of the bulk whisky had been lost, saying only that it was less than the 18,000 litres (4,755 gallons) mentioned in media reports.

How did they notice? 

ETR's countrymen being a little "Too Chinese"?
http://www.whatsonxiamen.com/news30144.html

Hmm...the sad thing is that it is not behaviour that surprises me. Disgusts me and makes me want to slap them, yes, but not surprising at all...

I think they were just trying to be "when in Rome,,,,," actually

If you're going to consume massive quantities of Chinese Carlsberg, get a bus with a 'head'.