Disney Issues No-Smoking Edict
In what was regarded as a largely symbolic gesture, the Walt Disney Co. on Wednesday said that depictions of smoking would be barred in all films released under the Disney brand and discouraged in those released by its Touchstone and Miramax brands. (Film buffs could only recall one leading character, Cruella De Vil in 101 Dalmatians, ever smoking in a Disney film.) The company also said that anti-smoking public service announcements would be included on DVDs of future films in which cigarette smoking is shown. The pledge was included in a letter sent by Disney CEO Robert Iger to Massachusetts Congressman Ed Markey, chairman of the House Telecommunications and the Internet Subcommittee, who conducted hearings last month into the effects on children of movie scenes in which the stars smoke. In his response, Markey called Disney's decision "groundbreaking," and added, "Now it's time for other media companies to similarly kick the habit and follow Disney's lead."
Fantastic!! Absolutely amazing! See, this is what I like to see. Seriously doing something about a horrible problem. As we all know, we are all braindead zombies who, without even considering the ramifications of our actions, will emulate our favourite actors on the silver screen. Especially Disney movies. For instance, this morning I climbed onto my roof with an anvil and tossed it over the side, with the specific purpose of hitting my annoying neighbour. This is in no way dangerous as we all know that, if a person is struck by an anvil falling from a great height, all that will happen is that a cone shaped bumb will sprout from their head and yellow canaris will fly in a circle around their head.
Likewise, this morning I brought a shovel with me to work. When I encountered the first annoying teenager of the day, I immediately swung and made the heavy shovel blade connect squarely with the offending youths face. True to form, stars appeared and all his teeth fell out to form a small igloo on his tongue.
In my sparetime I also enjoy finding little boys who own Border Collies and then, while the dog is watching, push the boys into wells and walk away, confident in the dogs ability to run off and communicate the distress of the boy to his parents. And who has not found great mirth in serving someone a hotdog and, instead of a sausage, sliding a lit stick of dynamite in the bun. Oh, how funny people do look when their face turns all black and their hair stands out in odd angles.
Cigarettes are disgusting, yes. They smell bad, they make you sick and there is not a single logical, rational defense for why anybody should want to smoke them. Well, that's my opinion anyway. I mean, tar and poison, doesn't sound too yummy in my ears.
Do people actually think that eliminating smoking from movies will have an effect? Smoking bans are being enforced all over the world, the prices of cigarettes keep rising, so why don't they just make the damn things illegal? Oh wait, I forgot, they can't do that and sell their souls to the all powerful Mammon at the same time.
Sorry for the rant. I am just really rather tired of smokers lighting up where they are not supposed to.