Raoul's China Saloon (V5.0) Beta
The Bar Room => The BS-Wrestling Pit => Topic started by: Just Like Mr Benn on May 21, 2011, 01:08:51 PM
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As you may know, today, May 21, is going to be The Rapture.
http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/outreach/tracts/may21/
I've got to admit, I can't find a hole in their logic, so it looks like this is it.
If you're still here, well, maybe you shouldn't have made that comment on the Outstanding T Shirt thread, but let's not dwell on that.
Don't panic. Total global destruction isn't until October 21st.
They're also calling it Judgement Day, so if, as well as the predicted earthquake, Skynet takes over, we may have to broaden our understanding of Biblical canon.
Anyway, how was the rapture for you? Any new openings at your Uni? Has it turned out that the colleague that claimed they were just sleeping with their students was actually shamefully doing the Lord's work and holding prayer meetings? A bit insulted that they asked you to give the sermon at this coming Sunday's Church service?
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Judgment Day!May 21, 2011
I thought Judgement Day was yesterday! bibibibibi
Daniel 12:9 And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.
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Judgment Day!May 21, 2011
I thought Judgement Day was yesterday! bibibibibi
Daniel 12:9 And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.
Look, God underestimated their Maths ability. They're clever people, and they outsmarted him. God's better at subjects like History (he has an almost autistic knowledge of when all the Monarchs of England were born) and Music. Lady Gaga's basically ripping off stuff from Jesus' eponymous debut album.
The Christians are better at stuff like Maths, Biology and Religious Studies. He thought that they wouldn't be able to figure the date out, but He was wrong. I just hope that he doesn't postpone Judgement Day out of petulance. That would be so like Him.
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To celebrate the coming apocalypse, I'm going to have a stoop sale tomorrow. Then I'm going to crack open a bottle of Dogfish Head Hellhound--a beer that celebrates the 100th birthday of Robert Johnson, the man who sold his soul to the devil so he could play guitar.
[Edited to add] Just discovered @RaptureHelpDesk on Twitter...it's funnier than the Bronx Zoo Cobra last month. Some good posts:
"Of you are wondering WWJD, he will be around to answer those questions in a timely matter tomorrow between 12pm-3pm EST"
"If you wonder what the #RAPTURE will look like tomorrow... remember that scene in Porky's Revenge when they march out the naked old people?"
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Matthew 24:35-35
Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
So, Jesus himself says that ONLY God the Father has the information, but so many "bright" people have calculated it over and over again.
So, if no angel can figure it out and Jesus himself can't figure it out, I'll put people who claim to know when such an event will happen into 2 categories:
1. Deluded people.
2. People who want to make fame and/or money from making the claim.
Look up "88 Reasons Why the Rapture will be in 1988".
Then again, maybe it was in 1988 and we all missed it. qqqqqqqqqq
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If we survive the rapture (or is it get claimed by GOD?), then, we can look forward to 2012. That's when the Mayans predicted the end of the world. Since they are no longer here, I would believe them over the Christians. Besides, how many times have the Christians been wrong as opposed to the Mayans? This would also make for a great conspiracy theory, wouldn't it?
ananananan
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However, New Zealand Skeptic Society media spokeswoman Vicky Hyde told NZPA she was confident of waking up tomorrow with the world unchanged.
''These kind of predictions come up particularly in times of economic or social uncertainty - which is pretty much almost every year actually, you can track them, whether it's commentary impacts or the rapture or giant space aliens or something. And the only thing they have in common is they are all wrong.''
........ Hyde said she was ''confident'' Camping's prediction was completely wrong.
''I've lived through so many ends of the world even in my relatively short lifetime.''
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I just want to know if I should keep working on this assignment or go eat the tub of Honey Nougat icecream in my freezer and wait for the end...
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Casandra, eat the ice cream. No one should be raptured on an empty stomach! ahahahahah
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well it didn't happen
to be honest i wouldn't be that bothered if the world ended, it sucks
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Ripping off Kieran Healy's tweet; if there's any disappointed Christians amongst us, Cheer Up, It's not the end of the world.
Got to admit, I've been out all day, and I did have a quick check on whether there's been any major earthquakes.
However, the idea that the Rapture would be rolled out at 6pm in each time zone would have been a bit of a tip off for those in the West.
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I was sitting on my balcony wearing flame-resistant clothing and holding onto a fire extinguisher, and nothing happened. Disappointment, thy name is 2011.5.21. I'd even bought a bamboo harp, just to be on the safe side. :-[
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maybe it did happen but noone got taken up cos we are all sinners
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Maybe the only people called to be at some god's side are the people that we wouldn't miss anyway.
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Guess I am not among the chosen. ananananan
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New Jersey's largest newspaper had a front page special on the apocalypse, complete with timeline of previous failed predictions (I'm just glad they remembered to deliver my Saturday paper for once).
Enough repenting, resume sinning. agagagagag
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Passed over. Nobody can ever figure out my address here.
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A volcanic eruption triggering 50 earthquakes in Iceland, and earthquakes in New Zealand, Indonesia and Japan all within the last 2 hours.
aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
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A volcanic eruption triggering 50 earthquakes in Iceland, and earthquakes in New Zealand, Indonesia and Japan all within the last 2 hours.
aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao aoaoaoaoao
Ok, maybe it's good one can find my address.
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Add Taiwan, Luzon, and San Francisco Bay to the list in the last couple of hours. Just saying.
http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/ (http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/)
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Passed over. Nobody can ever figure out my address here.
haha
it'll probably get to China 6 months late
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HAHAHAH!
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INSTALLING RAPTURE.
███████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 44% DONE.
Install delayed....please wait.
Installation failed. Please try again. 404 error: Rapture not found.
EVENT "Rapture" cannot be located. The rapture you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later.
bjbjbjbjbj agagagagag
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bkbkbkbkbk
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INSTALLING RAPTURE.
███████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 44% DONE.
bfbfbfbfbf ahahahahah
... but I can wait qqqqqqqqqq
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See you guys in hell ararararar
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Wait! There's been a miscalculation. The world will end on May 24th, 2011!!!
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It will end on February 30th, 2012
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Actually, it did happen...but none of y'all (nor I) were chosen. Ben Dan was, though. His status has changed to "Limboid" now.
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The Rapture was a bust. It shall now be known as the Rupture
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bkbkbkbkbk
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The "NASA Scientist" who wrote that book about how he'd calculated that the Rapture would happen in 1988 decided to try to milk his 15 minutes of fame by later claiming he'd made a few small miscalculations. Surprisingly, none of those revised predictions came true either.
It will end on February 30th, 2012
Funny, my new calendar has the end of the world marked for May 37th. ahahahahah
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This was on the Chinese news when I was riding the metro this afternoon. Their coverage was complete enough to include footage from the film Armageddon. Gotta love the Chinese portrayal of the crazy Americans...
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I think that a couple of my family members had their own kind of "Rapture" on 21st. My Grandson Jesse James turned 13 yrs old and my only niece was married. uuuuuuuuuu Glad that their special day was not spoiled. ahahahahah
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WTF
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/24/rapture-october-harold-camping-apocalypse
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I like this rapture better...
http://youtu.be/pHCdS7O248g
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Thrilling news. I've discovered when Escaped Lunatic is going to become World Dictator.
By correlating the first 115,723 posts on the forum, using the incidences of prime numbers in each post, I have realised that EL's rise to power will happen exactly 66,666 hours since the start of the End Times.
Frankly, this was obvious. It's not like I'm telling you anything new. The question was, and it's one I've been struggling with for a while. When will the End Times start?
Then ,last night I was playing some of my music backwards and i clearly heard the message, 'Start the RCS'. This can only refer to our own saloon, which was started on 11th February 2003.
So, Escaped Lunatic will become World Dictator either late 10th or early 11th June - this year.
The only thing that could ever make these calculations wrong is if, to hide the exact date of his ascendance, EL had deleted some posts recently.
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Well we go by the Lunar Calendar over here- today is 21st of Iyyar, 5771 so will someone kindly tell me when it was the Rapture was supposed to have happened? I seem to have missed it.