I want to sue Hollywood...I estimate that being the wonderful person I am, my time is valuable and therefore Hollywood, as I see it, owes me a truck-load of dosh. Why is that, you might rightfully ask? Well, the answer is really simple. Last night I, having just returned from a delightful trip to Suzhou, decided to make a cup of ginger tea and watch my recently purchased copy of "Where The Wild Things Live"...after watching 45 minutes of it, I decided that I should watch something else as the only emotion the movie stirred in me was a desire for the monsters to devour the extremely annoying, pasry milksop child that they, for reasons I am at a loss to fathom, had befriended. Then, I tried to watch the re-make of "Clash of the Titans"...By the venerable beard of Zeus, that was an even greater mistake. The acting was stilted and unconvincing, the story was amazingly stupi and, if anything, this movie should have been entitled "How To Spend A Quadrillion Dollars In the Effort To Completely Mangle Greek Mythology"...The Kraken is the minion of Hades and it defeated the Titans in the Valley of Stygian?? Zeus asks Perseus to become an Olympian just because he is his son, as if there is a shortage of children being the result of lusty liasons between gods and mortals in Ancient Greece?? Even my dog would be able to explain that, should one read the legends of Ancient Greece, one would rapidly reach the rational conclusion that you couldn't throw a stone in Greece at that time without hitting a son or daughter of a God. Why are the Olympian Gods dressed in Medieval plate-mail armour?? The legend of Perseus is not good enough, so we have to introduce a roving band of Djinn??? How the hell did a Djinn make it into a movie set in Ancient Greece?? Obviously, Greek mythology does not have enough of its own supernatural entities, so it is necessary to import some.
To anyone who watched this movie and enjoyed it, I recommend reading the works of Bulfinch and that of Graves and then watch it again. Or just watch the original instead. Still a silly story but Harry Harryhausen's effects make up for that.
"Clash of the Titans" was an unmitigated, unpardonable piece of amateurish crap. If one day you should have an couple of spare hours and do not know what to do and you find yourself torn between watching this movie or deliberately placing yourself between a mommy grizzly bear and her cub whilst waving a stick menacingly around the vicinity of said cubs head, I recommend the latter choice. It will actually be less painful than the former choice.